sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
