just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
