I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
