he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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