Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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