AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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