You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
