Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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