I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
