the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
