So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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