Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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