i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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