Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
