Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Vodka?
Forever.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
