You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
