I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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