You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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