Non-Jews are for practice
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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