when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
