im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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