The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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