so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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