thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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