It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You may now shotgun with the bride
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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