I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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