Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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