i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
