someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
