He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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