why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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