ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
