Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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