he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
