So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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