I am puke
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
