super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
