If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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