My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
