areolas are like halos for boobs.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
