Nicole vs. Life
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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