But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
