We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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