You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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