I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
