Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
