Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
