Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
organizing the empties. That sober.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
