But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
