after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
