I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't deserve a penis
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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