so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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