hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
