Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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