How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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