I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
